My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
