the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
