You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
