and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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