The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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