i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
