and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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