I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I love you. Go after that dick
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
