dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
