I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
