I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think pants incapable of making pants work
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
