If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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