if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
