Me. At least after what I've been through.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
