dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
