I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
