Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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