hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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