just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Green mimosas i think yes
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
