i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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