i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize