I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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