I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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