Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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