I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
