i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
