hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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