ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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