There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
