LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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