I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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