He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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