You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
