You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
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