I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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