Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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