im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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