So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
