It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
