is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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