We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
