you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
