the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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