either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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