well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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