drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
