I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Congratulations! We have a period
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
