Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
