it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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