i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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