I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
