i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
