i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
