I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you made out with another girl for some wings
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
