another moral hangover. fuck.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
