I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
