I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
