I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
