WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
