You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize