we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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