Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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