Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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