It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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