whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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