Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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