Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
