Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
